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yesterday was one of the sleepless nights for me.. nights u spend staring up at the ceiling recalling about the sweet and bitter memories in your life.. its the time your tears just start to roll down your cheeks without yourself even knowing.. and yeah... i was thinking about _____. the short one month we spent together.. ya.. maybe we wanted each other bcos we wanted each other's physical aspects.. so selfish rites?! im saying WE bcos i thk i deserve the blame too.. i guess young ma was right, she said this ' i guess the whole episode would not end until he leaves Singapore..' n yea.. he's leaving for australia this sunday.. for 5 years that is. and his mentality now is that he's gonna study hard for her.. i hope it works. n i hope tis episode ends quick. i admit i haven't really forget.. it has been 8months and im still thinking?!? dumb rites.. if i ever say i totally forget him, im obviously lying. after wat he has done to me, i have to clear up the mess for him... i have yet to tell young ma some things... n i ought to. i've been lying to myself for so long, telling myself 'its ok i can handle it myself.' actually... young ma! if you ever read tis.. its not that i don't want to tell you... i jus cannot plug up the courage... i noe i've been very irresponsible and such a disappointment to you... i don't deserve to be in your g12 actually. but its difficult to actually confess this lot out... and in fact that time at the cafe i wanted to say le.. but... i jus cannot put it into words... n im glad liling started the path for me... actually i felt abit betrayed by her but.. thats ok. cos it doesn't matter. if things doesn't turn out good, i might decide to quit this thing completely.
i dun quite like fridays now. standard remedials till 5.30pm. so sickening... ahhh! todae had my english prelim oral.. ok larhs. wasn't that nervous i thought i would be. so proud that i didn't stutter at all.. hees! anyways.. i'm getting into deep trouble with mrs hong le... she nowadays everytime punish me, ask me to do push ups and all.. just because of my nametag n tucking in of shirt... ahhhhh~! n she no longer mistakes me as kailing.. tians~ i cant escape le... ='( n i everytime tease her now.. saying things like 'when she moves around, her baby will experience tsunami bcos of the amniotic fluid..' or ' her baby can bungy jump le larhs.. got umblical cord mahs...' omg. thats mean things you'd do or say when you realli gets angry with a person.. n nowadays.. i am shouting at ppl like no one cares... i dunno larhs.. bad mood.. realli bad. n ya... i swear that i will do well to beat tt irritating guy in my cls.. so hao lian.. puis!
Friday, July 08, 2005
linzi
050689
jjc
touch rugby
